I Miss My Son

I miss my son

I miss his smiles and laughter

Instead he frowns

I miss his singing and dancing

Instead he screams

I miss his clowning around

Instead he hits

I miss his hugs and kisses

Instead he fights

I miss his joy

Instead he cries

I miss my son

Jachin’s Story update

This last month, things have not been going well.

We had some bloodwork done and it is showing that he is still not healing. We all agree that the quality of food he is getting is fine but something is wrong with his gut and his ability to absorb the nutrients in the food that he is eating. Now we have to discover the cause.

At his last appointment, the doctor recommended seeing a pediatric endocronoligst. We were able to find one and Jachin has an appointment May 8th. The doctor also recommended that we consider getting him checked out for Cystic Fibrosis. This was a bit scary to hear especially since Jason had a friend in college who died from this disease. Cystic Fibrosis is basically a genetic disease where your body is full of mucous. It can attack the lungs (Jachin’s lungs are fine), or the gut and the pancreas.

Also at the appointment, we were able to get a urine sample and Jachin had ketones and protein in his urine. Now we are also getting him checked out for Type 1 diabetes.

We did a urine test through the naturopath called the OATS test. The Organic Acids Test. This checks for 77 different markers in the gut especially for candida and gut infections. We will be getting the results back on that soon.

There is also the chance that he has a problem with his pituitary gland which could be a cause of his issues.

So right now we have him on many supplements and essential oils, as well as a semi-strict diet. Since he has a problem digesting food, we are trying to give him very light foods that are easy to digest. Foods that we are trying to keep him away from are dairy, grains, bananas, dried fruit, soy, and msg. As a family we also don’t eat Biblically unclean foods. Not because of spiritual reasons but because those animals are all gross when you study them and God was pretty smart in telling us to not eat them.

How is Jachin right now? Well to be honest, the last month he has been a bit of a mess. Jason potty trained him and Jachin is already trying to night potty train himself, so he has been up frequently at night. He also doesn’t feel well so he doesn’t sleep well and he is very obstinate (plus he is 2), and has a difficult time controlling his emotions and obeying.

So the house has been in a bit of an uproar and we are all just trying to get along and love our neighbor as ourselves. There have been short tempers and frustration for everyone and then apologizes, hugs and kisses.

Jachin’s Story part 5

So what now and how is Jachin? Jachin is night and day different. He has caught up on teeth, getting ready to get his 2 year molars, he has over 60 words now, up from 1 word a year ago, napping 2 hours most days, sleeping 12 hours most nights, will go into the toddler room at church without crying, and eating better. He is on about 7 different supplements. We still have nights were he doesn’t sleep well and days were he follows me around screaming but it isn’t every day and sometimes we go weeks without a bad night. We test his bloodwork about every 3 months to make sure his vitamin d and iron levels are stable and to check his thyroid levels. Care has mostly transferred to a naturopath, don’t worry we are still seeing the pediatrician :). The protein push we did early on helped greatly but it is stressing his kidneys and he doesn’t need protein as much so we are able to back off of that and give him a more balanced diet. Currently saving up for a test called The Organic Acid Test (OATS) to test for candida and other intestinal bacteria or issues. We still don’t know what the initial cause of the failure to thrive was. Initially we just had to focus on symptom management but now that the initial danger is over and the symptoms mostly contained, we can focus on a cause and a long term solution. So thankful for a husband that has been there every step of the way. He took off work for every appointment, was there for every time Jachin needed bloodwork drawn, came home from work and took care of the kids and the house so I could go to bed, loved me and our family so well. What a godly example of service and sacrifice!

Jachin’s Story part 4

So what does failure to thrive feel like? For Jachin, being tired, being hungry, scared when separated from mommy and daddy (no toddler room at church for him for a longgggg time), frustrated with the lack of ability to communicate and with others for not understanding him. For Kaya, middle child syndrome, feels unimportant and ignored. For Torin, being the oldest, feels unfair. Still needs mommy but is pushed to do more and more alone, to “figure” it out himself because mommy has to try and get Jachin to eat right now. For mommy, guilt as she considers what she did wrong or didn’t do right, when pregnant, that could have contributed to her child’s lack of growth, guilt that she didn’t notice the problem earlier, frustration that she can’t spend more time and attention on her other kids, sadness that when her husband comes home she can barely smile at him because she is so tired, and fear that it will happen again with her next child. For Jason, the weight of the world, as head of the family, is on his shoulders. Thankful for a God that loves and upholds us through our emotional struggles, that speaks truth through His word and others, and that cares about the day to day needs of our lives, that has a purpose for our lives and circumstances.

Jachin’s Story part 3

So once your child has been diagnosed failure to thrive, what do you do? Well again, for our child, the most important thing we did was immediately get bloodwork done “the life is in the blood” according to the Bible. Jachin’s bloodwork showed that he was severely iron, vitamin d, and protein deficient. He had multiple other levels that were off, either high or low. So began the “protein” push. I made a high protein, with meat, meal/puree for Jachin every 3 hours and made him eat something. Smaller meals more frequently. Then began the supplements iron, cod liver oil, vitamin d drops, probiotics, liquid multi-vitamin, etc. I can’t even remember at this point everything we did. Thankful for the fact that Jason and I had already spent several years learning about health and how the body works so our level of research was a much lower burden then it would have otherwise been.

Jachin’s Story part 2

What does failure to thrive look like? Well for our son, it was low weight gain or weight loss, lost ability to speak and regressed back to only speaking his first word “dada”, stopped napping and wouldn’t sleep through the night which led to being too tired to eat, which led to not sleeping, stopped teething so harder to eat more dense and hardy foods, separation anxiety, constant neediness and a myriad of other things. Of course looking back, we can now see how all of those were symptoms but when you are so tired, and constantly in the situation, it is difficult to see outside and look in to see the connection. This is one of the reasons community is so important. Thankful for Christy ‘Robbins’ Geaslen who was my ‘bouncing ideas off of” buddy and was able to give me an outside perspective and see that things were off because she saw Jachin on a routine basis at play date.

Jachin’s Story part 1

This last year has been a very rough season for my family. November 2015 we realized that Jachin (our 3rd) wasn’t gaining weight very well. In January, we took him to the pediatrician. She had us bring him back in February. At that time, he was diagnosed “failure to thrive”. He had actually lost 2 pounds in that month between January and February. This last year has been filled with doctor’s visits, supplements, bloodwork, trying all sorts of new schedules for him, frustration, worry, and exhaustion. I (Anne) was also pregnant and then had a newborn through this journey. He is doing so much better now but we are still working on his health and every day I never know what kind of child will wake up. The one who is feeling off, which is usually accompanied by a day full of him screaming, or a child who feels well which is usually a day full of giggles, laughter, dancing, singing, hugs and kisses. To top it all off, he is now 2 years old so it is sometimes hard to figure out if the behavior is typical 2 year old stubbornness or a 2 year old who doesn’t feel well. It has been a long journey, which isn’t over yet, but the road looks a little less bumpy in the future. We will be doing more bloodwork at the beginning of March. So thankful for Healthy Kids Pediatrics, Dr. Rebecca Martin and Agape Clinic, and Vaughn Lawrence of Spirit of Health who have helped us, and are still helping us, take care of our precious little boy. Thankful for the women of our church, Calvary Chapel Rock Harvest, as they prayed with me and hugged me during these rough days and nights.

After the Storm

I live in Texas. We can get some fierce storms. A couple of weeks ago we had a storm complete with thunder, lightning, a chance of tornadoes, and the power going out. The next morning the sky was blue and the sun was shining. The temperature was perfect.

We are amateur gardeners. I like the idea of growing my own food but with 4 children under the age of 6, the garden ends up taking more time then I can often give it. We did plant a few things like peas, spinach, and beets.

The garden takes care and attention. If we leave it alone to long, it will wither from thirst. If we don’t know what we planted, then it is more difficult to weed or we chance pulling up the good stuff and not the bad.

I find it fascinating that when I water the garden or it rains, the plants will stay alive and sometimes grow and sometimes produce fruit but it takes time. However, when there is a storm, I can go out the next day and the plants will have literally growing several inches over night. The rain helps it but something about a storm makes the plants stronger, taller, and more vibrant.

What are you planting in your life that needs care and attention? Are you going to be able to tell the difference between the good plants and the bad when it is time to weed out your life? What storm are you going through right now? Are you going to allow it to make you stronger and produce fruit or are you going to bend and break?

After the storm, comes the most beautiful of days!