All posts by isaiah12

The Joy of Isolation

Recently, the Lord had me in a period of isolation. Recently, as in it is ending tomorrow.

Two weeks ago, my oldest son woke with some nasty pink eye. Time to invoke quarantine. I was able to get out here and there, like church, for a brief time, but I couldn’t go anywhere with the kids.

Four days later, in the late evening, I was told some rough and painful news. Too late to call any friends. The next morning, my other three children woke with pink eye.

All events canceled. Four fussy children to care for. I didn’t have time to call anyone. So I did the only thing I could do, lean on the Lord.

Oh wait! THAT is what I needed to do. I see!

For two weeks, I have been in isolation from friends and from leaving the house. But for two weeks the communion with the Lord has been joyful. The words of affirmation, love and affection have been a balm to my soul. The songs of praise He has been bringing to my mind and my lips, have been uplifting. The songs on the radio, or my children’s music cd’s, have been timely. His Word has been confirming and spot on. It has reminded me of His peace and His mercy.

I have to wonder. Would I have had the same communion with the Lord if I hadn’t been in isolation? The Lord knows that I have a failing, a weakness, a propensity to seek human counseling and affirmation before I seek His. The Lord knew that I would need Him, that I would need to hear His voice, that I would need to feel His touch. How gracious He was to me, to put me in isolation, so that all the noise would be gone. Sometimes that noise is truthful and affirming but can still be noise that distracts me from what should be my main source of comfort, the Lord.

Do you need to feel the touch of the Lord, to hear Him, to know you are loved, beautiful, and important? Try a little isolation.

Jachin: An update

Hello everyone!
Jachin is doing fabulously right now. He has been feeling great and we have really enjoyed seeing and experiencing his personality.

Jachin is sleeping 11-12 hours straight! This is a HUGE change. Sometimes during the day he takes an hour nap, depending on what time he got up. In general, his sleep schedule right now is 7:30-7:00. We were able to get his TSH stabilized in April, via supplements, and that is when his sleep starting improving. In August, we adjusted his sleep schedule and that improved his nights even more.

Jachin is eating EVERYTHING in site. For the most part, I prefer scheduled eating times but Jachin needs something different so we have had to make some adjustments. He grazes. Within about 30 minutes of breakfast, he starts eating again. He almost always has food on the table that he is in the process of eating. He isn’t allowed to take the food around the house and has to sit down at the table to eat it. (We have to have some manners). His digestion has normalized. His stools rarely have undigested food in them and his stomach is rarely distended after eating. The biggest difference is that he WANTS to eat. It was always a battle to get him to eat and now he won’t stop. Anyone need a 2 year old to do some work around the house for them to help him pay for his food? We are sooo going broke. 🙂

We recently went to the pediatrician and they did a urine sample. His urine was free of protein and ketones. In April, both were in his urine and there was a concern that he might have Type 1 diabetes. Therefore, we were overjoyed to see the results of this latest urine test.

For the first time in 10 months, Jachin has gained weight!!!  He has reached 25 pounds. This is awesome!! I have noticed that some of his shirts are getting smaller. I am excited about this as I am sooo tired of his wardrobe. 🙂

How is Jachin developmentally?

His mental development has all but caught up. He is counting, singing ABC’s, and naming shapes and colors. His speech is also clearing up quite a bit. He is using full sentences (his first full sentence was “I do not want to obey”), and has become understandable to more people than just us.

His physical development is still behind. We estimate that he is about 1 year behind on his physical growth. The good news is that his weight gain has triggered his 2 year molars to come in. Getting excited about teething seems a bit weird but boy are we excited! We aren’t too worried about his size though as long as everything else is still going well. He was 1 percentile for height and 2 percentile for weight in August. We estimate that as long as this upward trend continues, it will take about 2 years for him to catch up physically.

What supplements is he getting?
We have been able to reduce a lot of his supplements which helps my stress level. He is still getting a supplement to treat candida. We are giving him a glutathione supplement (this was low in one of his tests), he is getting an anti-oxidant drink with some essential oils in it, a good multi-vitamin with minerals and amino acids, an iron supplement, and a good probiotic. That is it. Five months ago, he was on about triple the number of supplements.

So, what is next?

We received the results of his heavy metals testing. He did have high levels of some heavy metals but they had not reached the toxic levels. We will begin treating him with essential oils to help his body pull out and detox the heavy metals. I have been reticent to start this as he is so happy and often when you start detoxing, it can cause behavioral issues. In the long run, it will be better for him to get those high levels out of his body so we will just have to bite the bullet and start.

Re-test.  A lot of re-testing. We need to re-test him to see if his candida levels have lowered, re-test his blood to check his iron and TSH, and re-test his heavy metals levels after treatment. All this testing will be done around the end of October and throughout the month of November. He turns 3 at the end of November and I would like to have fresh information on everything by then.

So any luck on the finding the root cause? You know, I have a hypothesis. I am not sure there is one specific root cause. I am leaning more towards the idea that there was a domino effect. He didn’t want solids and refused to eat them until I finally made him around 9 months. I don’t think he was getting enough nutrition and this caused some deficiencies in minerals and vitamins. In turn, this would have lowered his immune system which would have allowed the candida to grow. Candida eats glutathione which is in your brain and helps your body detox. He couldn’t detox the heavy metals that he was getting from his normal environment. He wasn’t digesting well and it hurt his stomach to eat. Oxalates are a by-product of candida and it settles in the joints. His levels were extremely high and were probably causing him pain. His body was under stress which can affect your thyroid, etc. etc. I can’t prove this hypothesis but that is what I am thinking happened. As we have been addressing individual symptoms and issues, we have been able to see him improve so much and that is what matters. If there is a root cause that we haven’t found, then so be it and hopefully one day we will. Right now, I can tell you he is happy, full of life, intelligent, strong-willed, and healing. Therefore, we will continue on the path we are on, until or if, we need to change it.

I Have A Dream

I have dreams for my children.

I want them to grow up and be known as those who “turned the world upside down”.

I have a dream for my children that when they grow up, and if it is still legal, they will band together to fight and defeat the great sin of abortion.

And this, this is why we homeschool. Because we don’t have time to send them to school. I don’t have time for them to be gone 8 hours a day. I don’t have time to work outside of the home.

There is so much that I need to to teach them. I need to pour everything into them. I need them to learn the word of God, I need them to be able to practice on their brothers and sister. They need time to learn to love their neighbor as themselves. They need to learn to resolve conflict. They need to learn compassion, justice, forgiveness, contentment, truth, stewardship, love, and righteous anger. They need to see me make mistakes, to sin, and then repent. They need to see me do hard and impossible things and learn to give the glory to God. They need to see me struggle through life but be victorious through Christ. They need to learn to clean a toilet, do laundry, clean a floor, cook, and wait patiently for others,

There is NO TIME. Do you feel the urgency? I can’t afford to miss one opportunity to live life with my children, to prepare them and to train them. If I do my job correctly, this world will hate them. I have to prepare them for that. They need a firm foundation so when their world rocks, they will not sink.

Oh God help me!

Love is Tough

3:00 a.m

I am laying in my husband’s arms crying as Jachin is in his room screaming, “MOMMY, MOMMY”.

The last two weeks Jachin has not been sleeping. He won’t stay in his bed when we put him to bed in the evening. In the evenings, it usually takes around an hour of continuously putting him back to bed for him to go to sleep. Then he was waking up anytime between 1-5 a.m. He wouldn’t stay in his bed and can’t go back to sleep. He then won’t nap more than an hour during the day. We have tried everything we can think of to keep him in bed. The only way we have found to keep him in his bed is if one of us lays on the floor next to his bed for the rest of the night. Usually it has to be Jason because I am still getting up at night to feed the baby. Jason really needed some sleep so this night I got up with Jachin. I got the pack n play out to put him in. As I am laying him down, he starts screaming and grabbing on to me, I tell him that I love him enough to do this. He needs sleep. The household needs sleep.

It was tough. So tough. Love is tough. Love is doing what has to be done for the best of the other person. “Love your neighbor as yourself” does not mean you have to love yourself first before you are capable of loving someone else. It actually is assuming you already love yourself, which we all do, and therefore, we should love our neighbors as if they were ourselves. My son is my neighbor.

It was tough to not get up and go get him. I so badly wanted to go comfort my baby. Instead, I took a blanket and pillow and laid on the couch and prayed that God would comfort him and help him stop. The Lord was gracious and he only screamed about 20 minutes.

Love is tough. Sacrificing sleep for the well being of my children is tough.

Jachin was able to go back to sleep that night and the next day was semi-okay. I emailed our naturopath (subject line: I am going insane), and he responded within an hour. He said his guess would be that Jachin’s new supplements are working but are causing a die-off, detox, reaction that his liver just can’t handle. Therefore, stop all supplements for a week and take 2 liver supporters called “Calm” and “Sleepy”. Then slowly add back in the other supplements. The last 2 nights Jachin has gotten up at 5 a.m. and gone back to sleep and then this morning he got up at 6:15. Tonight he only got up once after we put him to bed and then went straight to sleep.

Love is tough.

P.S.

The next day Jachin learned to climb out of the pack n play.

 

Humbleness

I have been contemplating humbleness lately. Why? Because as I learn about evils in the world, that although not new, are new to me, then I come to a crisis of sorts. If I acknowledge and believe that something is evil, that I have never known about before, then I have to acknowledge and feel grief about the people I know who have committed such evil. They may have committed that evil out of ignorance and not out of maliciousness but evil is evil and wrong is wrong. So, my question then is do we, do I, have the humbleness to acknowledge and apply what I have learned to my life? Can I be okay emotionally and spiritually knowing what I now know? If the time comes when it is shown to me that my actions in the past were evil or wrong in some way, do I have the spiritual maturity to repent?

I think this is something lacking in the American church. If we say something is evil and we know Christians who have committed that evil, we feel that we are saying that that person is evil, or bad, or wrong. Well, they are wrong. Why is that bad? Why is it bad to grow in the Lord, grow in knowledge, repent of past actions (whatever the reason for committing them), learn and change? Isn’t that part of the refining, the sanctifying process?

We, the Church, I, need humbleness. I need to be able to be reproached, to be taught, to be challenged to do what is right, to repent of the past, to grow.

Jachin update, May

Well we met with the pediatric endocrinologist. It wasn’t useless but it wasn’t super helpful either. She wrote a script for more in depth thyroid bloodwork. In April, his TSH was the highest it has been at 9.6. This bloodwork, about a month later, showed that all his thyroid levels were NORMAL! That is right, normal for the first time on any of his bloodwork in the last year and a half.

Now Jason and I have always felt that his thyroid levels were a symptom of the stress that was on his body and not a primary cause of anything so the levels stabilizing seem to indicate that that is probably true. We don’t know which of the many supplements and essential oils that he has been on, or his diet, was the specific reason for the normal levels or if it was the combo but either way, we will take the good news and praise God.

We also got the results back from the OATS test and talked with the naturopath about that. The results were a mixed bag. He does have some markers for a candida/yeast/gut bacteria infection. It doesn’t look to be super bad though as he does also have some healthy gut bacteria. He did have multiple markers in other areas off so, unfortunately, the naturopath does not feel that we have found the “smoking gun” so to speak and that we need to continue to pursue the root cause.

The naturopath feels that we should test for heavy metal toxicity and if that is negative then chemical toxicity. Since the thyroid levels have stabilized, at this point we will probably put a hold on the endocrinologist so that our resources can be used towards the heavy metal testing. That just involves getting a hair sample and sending it into the lab.

Today was an amazing day with Jachin. Last night he slept 11 hours, he took a 2.5 hour nap, and after the nap he said about 6 new words. He was pleasant, cheerful, and much more cooperative today. He also gave hugs and kisses. It was a good day!

Combating the Lies

My little girl turns 4 on Saturday. We had a birthday celebration last week. One of the presents she received was a dress with flowers, lace and pink. She loves it and I can barely get it off of her. Today she asked if I liked her when she was wearing her dress. It made my heart hurt.

You see, we are already having to combat the lie that she is beautiful based on what she wears. We are having to combat the lie that how God created her is not enough.

It is so hard to take her into public because she gets comments all the time about how beautiful her hair is, or how pretty she looks. Rarely does someone mention a character trait.

You see, my daughter has deep insecurities. She doesn’t feel good enough. She isn’t secure in the knowledge that she is an image bearer of Christ and that her value is that God created her and she was made in His image.

Don’t let the world lie to your daughter (and your son for that matter) and tell them that they are only special when they look a certain way, or wear certain clothes, or have certain skills or aspirations. Combat the lies with the truth. Tell your daughter she is beautiful because God created her, tell her that beauty comes from a heart that wants to please God, and yes, also tell her she is pretty and has pretty hair but that she is loved no matter what color her hair is or if she even has hair.

 

I Miss My Son

I miss my son

I miss his smiles and laughter

Instead he frowns

I miss his singing and dancing

Instead he screams

I miss his clowning around

Instead he hits

I miss his hugs and kisses

Instead he fights

I miss his joy

Instead he cries

I miss my son

Jachin’s Story update

This last month, things have not been going well.

We had some bloodwork done and it is showing that he is still not healing. We all agree that the quality of food he is getting is fine but something is wrong with his gut and his ability to absorb the nutrients in the food that he is eating. Now we have to discover the cause.

At his last appointment, the doctor recommended seeing a pediatric endocronoligst. We were able to find one and Jachin has an appointment May 8th. The doctor also recommended that we consider getting him checked out for Cystic Fibrosis. This was a bit scary to hear especially since Jason had a friend in college who died from this disease. Cystic Fibrosis is basically a genetic disease where your body is full of mucous. It can attack the lungs (Jachin’s lungs are fine), or the gut and the pancreas.

Also at the appointment, we were able to get a urine sample and Jachin had ketones and protein in his urine. Now we are also getting him checked out for Type 1 diabetes.

We did a urine test through the naturopath called the OATS test. The Organic Acids Test. This checks for 77 different markers in the gut especially for candida and gut infections. We will be getting the results back on that soon.

There is also the chance that he has a problem with his pituitary gland which could be a cause of his issues.

So right now we have him on many supplements and essential oils, as well as a semi-strict diet. Since he has a problem digesting food, we are trying to give him very light foods that are easy to digest. Foods that we are trying to keep him away from are dairy, grains, bananas, dried fruit, soy, and msg. As a family we also don’t eat Biblically unclean foods. Not because of spiritual reasons but because those animals are all gross when you study them and God was pretty smart in telling us to not eat them.

How is Jachin right now? Well to be honest, the last month he has been a bit of a mess. Jason potty trained him and Jachin is already trying to night potty train himself, so he has been up frequently at night. He also doesn’t feel well so he doesn’t sleep well and he is very obstinate (plus he is 2), and has a difficult time controlling his emotions and obeying.

So the house has been in a bit of an uproar and we are all just trying to get along and love our neighbor as ourselves. There have been short tempers and frustration for everyone and then apologizes, hugs and kisses.

Jachin’s Story part 5

So what now and how is Jachin? Jachin is night and day different. He has caught up on teeth, getting ready to get his 2 year molars, he has over 60 words now, up from 1 word a year ago, napping 2 hours most days, sleeping 12 hours most nights, will go into the toddler room at church without crying, and eating better. He is on about 7 different supplements. We still have nights were he doesn’t sleep well and days were he follows me around screaming but it isn’t every day and sometimes we go weeks without a bad night. We test his bloodwork about every 3 months to make sure his vitamin d and iron levels are stable and to check his thyroid levels. Care has mostly transferred to a naturopath, don’t worry we are still seeing the pediatrician :). The protein push we did early on helped greatly but it is stressing his kidneys and he doesn’t need protein as much so we are able to back off of that and give him a more balanced diet. Currently saving up for a test called The Organic Acid Test (OATS) to test for candida and other intestinal bacteria or issues. We still don’t know what the initial cause of the failure to thrive was. Initially we just had to focus on symptom management but now that the initial danger is over and the symptoms mostly contained, we can focus on a cause and a long term solution. So thankful for a husband that has been there every step of the way. He took off work for every appointment, was there for every time Jachin needed bloodwork drawn, came home from work and took care of the kids and the house so I could go to bed, loved me and our family so well. What a godly example of service and sacrifice!